I know I’ve been way out of touch for a while, even worse than when I was neck deep in writing and pre-production of my web series. Actually that’s kind of the root of what’s been going on. In May, is was starting to rehearse for the second episode of “Calling Home” but I didn’t have everyone. I couldn’t get in touch with our lead at all. I kept trying to contact him with no luck and it meant pushing back the shoot date of the series. At the end of May, it was evident that I had to let our lead go. This meant having to recast the role and then reshoot the first episode. I really hated it but that’s what I had to do, but I still haven’t recast the role yet. I can’t find Latino actors willing to commit to the role and the time for it, or who are right for it. This was the problem I had in January and it’s now grown more troublesome now.
In addition a few things happened at the exact same time. I was in communication with a couple of women that I was interested in going out with. Things were going well at the time, but I was insanely busy. With the Democratic primaries still undecided, since mid-April every Tuesday (normally my day off) I worked an OT shift to help with the extended news coverage. This limited any time to go out with anyone. Still I tried to eke out some time for me. However in the time it took to make time, almost all the women I was talking to found a relationship. Others disappeared, sort of like my actor. So many people “abandoning” me at one time just shoved me down and threw me into a serious depression. When I get depressed, I tend to abandon the world the way I felt I was abandoned. Doesn’t help the depression or correcting anything. My work suffers (very few people at work knew something was up and my ability to do my job was lackluster to say the least), my creativity suffers (haven’t really written anything for the series or anything else; and this is the first blog I’ve posted in how long?), and relationships suffer. I’ve missed birthdays of Myspace friends while racking up lots of points on Pack Rat on Facebook, which basically means I’ve been pretty useless for the last two months.
I at least want to apologize for not keeping up with some people and missing a bunch of people’s birthdays. Most of all I’m sorry for being so far out of touch with folks. Only now I’m starting to come out of it, but I’m still buried in my own little hell. I no longer have to put “Get out of bed” on a to-do list, but other stuff is still a struggle.