January 29, 2008 by Dave.

Before even starting my pre-Thanksgiving trip to New York, I sent out an email to friends in the area that I was coming down to visit. Santana was the only person who wanted to get together (aside from my parents, but that was a given) and he had a great suggestion: a family dinner together. Getting together with friends in New York is harder when I take Sophia with me. I try to think of places to hang out that I can go with Sophia to meet my friends. I’ve never been able to think beyond any McDonald’s with a play area. Santana suggested dinner out at Dallas BBQ on 72^nd street. Since Sophia was getting a little older now, I figured she could handle it. Plus I hadn’t seen Santana since high school. I was hoping he’d be at the 20^th high school reunion earlier that fall, but he declined to go. This would be a way to catch up with him one-on-one plus our daughters.

My four-year-old and I were doing shots at the bar waiting for Santana to show up—me with ginger ale, her with orange juice. Sophia and I were at least 45 minutes early to our meeting time at the restaurant. I thought I might get there late with both rush-hour traffic in New Jersey and parking in Manhattan working against me. As it turned out, I got into the city in less time than I thought and found a parking spot in 15 minutes (just off Central Park West no less), so I was way early. Seeing where I was then, I decided to increase Sophia’s Beatles knowledge by walking her over to Strawberry Fields and the Imagine Circle and over to the Dakota Building to teach her a little about John Lennon. It was a nice side trip and it killed another 20 minutes or so. After that we walked over to Dallas BBQ, made sure the hostess knew we were here and how many were showing up, and then we both did shots at the bar until Santana got there (ginger ale for me and orange juice for Sophia).

Santana showed up only about a half-hour later than our scheduled meeting time and close to an hour after I got there. It was good to see him, but odd, no less because now he looks like me. Back then he styled his hair in a DA, was slender and wore a goatee with a devilish smile. That was when we were both media majors in high school. Now he also shaved his head and had the same large build as me. Of course he still had that smile, making him recognizable from across the room. He walked down the stairs with his two teenage daughters following close behind. So yeah this would be a real family get together.

It’s hard to say it was just like old times, mainly because neither of us had kids back then. I had to make sure Sophia got fed something healthy, which she needed after the weekend she’s had. Unfortunately the only vegetables were tempura and I know she wouldn’t like that, so she had fries (AGAIN) and corn on the cob. She barely touched the corn and the plate of fries were HUGE! Santana’s daughters were cool but they were in a fairly typical teenage mood: not wanting to be with dad and his friends. Sheila is his oldest daughter at 15, very much into writing and hopes to be a journalist/author. Arisa is two years younger and more into science, although she dreams of being a wrestler on the WWE circuit. They were good sports and they answered questions pretty well, but I think they more enjoyed watching Sophia eat (admittedly it is a trip).

Santana and I didn’t talk about the old times or much of our new times as much as we talked about family and raising girls. Not that we didn’t catch up at all, but being parents revealed to us our kids take over a big part of our lives. Back in high school, Santana was one of the media hotshots looking to make a mark on Hollywood; I was trying to become the newest heir apparent to Hitchcock and generally refine my cinematic chops. 20 years later, Santana works as a social worker coordinating and providing services to clients with HIV/AIDS, and I work at WGBH TV coordinating closed captions for live TV broadcasts; both of us working hard to provide and spend time with our daughters. While I am still making time for my craft and trying to make that sale and Santana still has aspirations to break through in film somehow, we both have our eyes on what our kids need. They come first and rightfully so.

I had a conversation with another filmmaker friend from grad school not too long ago. We talked about how we left school trying to take on Hollywood and conquer the film industry and, because of decisions we needed to make about financial security and other obligations, how we settled for something less. I hate to think I settled for anything. I freely admit I made some bad choices regarding the course of my career early on. At one point I knew I couldn’t get married or start a family until I got my career on track because a family would stop my career in its tracks. I don’t think that way anymore. I still am writing and career pace has slowed to focus on a child, but now Sophia is a big motivator for keeping the aspirations moving. I know for me, the idea of selling a script important because it will give me a chance to give Sophia a college fund at least, maybe a house with a yard at best. But until then the only way to do that is to get up, get to work, pay down my debts and put a little bit away when I can. I’m sure Santana does the same.

After dinner, Sophia and I were last out of the restaurant— commonplace with a four year old in tow. As we walked, Sophia told me “I like your friend. He looks just like you.” She also said that she liked “one of his daughters.” I was afraid to ask which one. I offered Santana and his kids a ride up to 125^th Street since I was heading up to the GW Bridge. As we walked to the car, Sophia said she wanted to hold Santana’s hand as went. That vicious San-man grin beamed as he walked down the street holding Sophia’s hand. “This is the first time in… seven or eight years that my girl’s let me hold their hands,” he told Sophia as we headed to the car. On the ride up, Sophia was telling Arisa and Sheila all about the Beatles’ songs playing on her CD (”This is Yellow Submarine; Ringo sings lead, but this is the part where John acts silly”), while me and Santana talked about movies—mostly that we haven’t seen anything in the theaters in a long time but want to see “No Country For Old Men” when it comes out. After I dropped them off, I told him that the next time I come down, I’d have to get our other high school friends to come too. That would be interesting to see.

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January 29, 2008 by Dave.

This is my 100th entry on my blog. So yeah, tooting my own horn again. I still hope to hell someone out there is listening.

Luckily I have a few loyal readers/friends out there willing to read a rant of mine online or whatnot. Believe me it’s nice to have fans.

Things are changing quickly for me. I’m into the second round of auditions for “Calling Home,” writing the second webisode, and looking forward to getting it shot. Sophia is getiing bigger and more precocious, precious and annoying every day. Still no chance of a lasting romance on the horizon, but I guess we take the good with the bad. It’s all grist for the mill, and luckily I use this blog and other outlets to use it all.