I’ve been such a slug lately. I really have not been focused on things as I should be. I’ve got my web series pilot written and I should get onto the next episode. But nothing. I’m not so into writing as I was. I have a couple of events I’ve been wanting to blog about. I can’t get into it. I’ve got a couple of opening sentences but can’t get motivated to get the rest. I’ve been like that for at least two weeks now.
Unfortunately it’s more than just writing. I’ve been trying to get back into the dating world again. It’s tough especially when you feel like you approach it in a bout of desperation—I need to be with someone, NOW! It’s a horrible way of trying to meet and connect to someone. I’m having my own moments of despair with Sophia, too. She’s been more of a handful lately, wanting to play every minute of the day when I more often want to sleep or just can’t. There are too many days when I feel like I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. The money situation of course makes all the above worse. Because I don’t have a lot of money, it’s hard to go out anywhere. Plus because of my shifts, I don’t have much time to go out with anyone. All the work I’m doing is to get me out of a financial hole, which isn’t growing but isn’t really getting a whole lot better. And the need to be out of debt just drives my desperation which screws me up and makes everything more messed up.
I hate being like this. Guess it’s more depression. Par for my life these days. It just sucks to be like this.